Obversely, sometimes Frank feels vulnerable and wants some nurturing that his boy hasn’t developed the capacity to offer, and Ernesto feels like a f...ilure. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. The shadow side of the boy’s reverence for the masculine ideal can manifest as a tendency to locate that masculine essence as exclusively outside of oneself and letting sexual competence (Sucking Daddy Off) substitute for healthy development in new directions, professionally or emotionally. As Pat Califia. This is her story so I will let her tell it:Katy's Story"I don't mean for this to sound so sad, but if I start crying please bear with me. It is a hard story for me to tell and you are the first people I've wanted to tell it to." I had a normal and fairly happy childhood. I loved my mom and dad and I knew they loved me. I had friends, and although most of my relatives lived fairly far away, I was happy. All that changed when my mother died. I was 11 at the time and hadn't even known she was. ”“Yes, it is. I’ve been having really dark thoughts and now a dark dream. Something is really wrong with me.”“What kind of dark thoughts?”“That loving people isn’t worth it; that caring if I’m loved is wrong. That trying to do the right thing doesn’t matter. Every single person I loved has been hurt by something I did, except Birgit, and she’s dead. Why should I care?”“Oh my God, Steve! That’s not you! Not at all! This has really torn you up and made a mess, hasn’t it?”“I guess losing Birgit. Main soch rahi thi ki uncle ne aisa pahle kabhi mere saath nahin kiya to fir aaj kyon? Aur wo bhi aunty ki absence me. Mera mann hua ki wahan se uth jane me hi meri bhalai hai. Lekin mujhe ye laga ki kahin uncle ko bura na lag jaye. Ho sakta hai ki wo shayad sahi me anjane me hi haat rakh rahe ho aur jab unhe pata chalega ki main unki is activity ke karan chali gayee to unko kitni guilt feel hogi. So maine wahan baithna hi sahi samjha. Mere shant baithe rahne se uncle ka manobal aur badh gaya..
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